


Pet.

by thesmallchameleon



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Cat Ears, Cat/Human Hybrids, Dan just wants to live his life, Gay., Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Injury, M/M, Prejudice, cat people - Freeform, neko, phil is basically a cat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-04 04:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5319842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesmallchameleon/pseuds/thesmallchameleon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Phil is basically half cat and desperately trying to hide it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dan Howell never considered himself an activist. Sure he cared about things like equality and animal abuse and homelessness , but it wasn't like he went out of his way to do anything about them. Sure he'd donate a dollar or two if someone shoved it in his face, but to be brutally honest, those kinds of disputes never really affected him. He was a straight, white, cisgender male. He had a roof over his head and food on his table. It wasn't that he was cruel, but rather, he just couldn't be bothered to care.

So when Dan Howell woke up on the morning of his first press conference as a significant figure in the Neko Rights movement, it was safe to say he was pretty astounded at how far he'd come.

But that's not where this story starts. This story starts with Dan Howell, the normal, uninvolved, fresh-out-of-college-and-completely-lost-in-life kid, who just needed to buy some milk.

"You're 20 p short," said the young man behind the counter.

Dan rooted around in his wallet for change while the cashier waited patiently. He must have counted wrong. He hated holding up the line, so he always made sure to have the correct amount before he had to pay. Needless to say, he, and the old woman standing behind him in line, were plenty frustrated with him.

When he finally found the correct coin, the cashier held his palm out and in his haste, Dan brushed his skin with his hand. 

Dan pulled his hand away quickly and grabbed the jug of milk off of the conveyor belt. He thanked the cashier curtly and started towards the automatic doors. He resisted the urge to smack himself in the head until after he was out of the store.

Dan was halfway across the parking lot when he heard a voice calling out behind him.

"Hey! Wait up!"

He stopped and turned. The cashier he had just violated with his awkwardness was running towards him.

"You dropped this," he said when he caught up, not even out of breath. In his hand he held Dan's wallet.

Dan's eyes widened slightly as he patted his pockets reflexively. Sure enough, they were empty.

"Jesus," he said. "Thanks. That would have been a stupid way to lose that."

Dan took the wallet from the young man, looking him in the eye for the first time. His eyes were vibrantly blue, but also yellow and green all at once. Dan caught himself staring.

"You have stunning eyes by the way."

Dan was taken aback. What was special about his eyes? They were... Brown. That was it.

"Thanks?" he said unsurely.

The cashier was tugging nervously on the grey beanie which covered his ears completely. After a moment, he cleared his throat.

"Right, well. I have to get back to work. The lady who noticed your wallet on the ground didn't seem too thrilled when I ran off."

Dan laughed at that. The cashier smiled.

"It was nice meeting you though," he said, turning around. Then he stopped and turned back around again.

"I didn't get your name?" he said.

"Dan." The guy smiled.

"Phil," he said, holding his hand out. Dan took it and shook his hand politely, half just wanting out of the situation. His hand was soft.

"See you around Dan!" Phil called out as he jogged back to work. 

Dan sighed deeply, then allowed himself one more face-palm. 

***

Dan fixed himself a bowl of shreddies with his newly bought milk. Thankfully, his job as a radio intern didn't start until ten, so he was allowed little luxuries like morning Tesco runs instead of just eating his cereal dry.

He sat down on the couch with his bowl in his lap and turned on the TV, channel surfing for something interesting. When nothing caught his attention, he just flipped to the news as white noise while he ate his breakfast.

It must have been a slow news day because there was currently a reporter was interviewing some rich lady about her impressive collection of nekos. 

She had a little blond one resting in her lap and was petting it's hair while she answered questions. A curly haired neko hung off the back of the couch.

"How many did you say you have?" the reporter was asking.

"19," the neko lady responded. "Of course, I give each and every one of them the individual attention and love they need. Like Cookie here. She needs to be brushed at least twice a week or her fur mats up something awful. And Socks. He's on a special diet because the normal food gives him tummy aches."

The reporter looked incredibly bored, only just hiding it behind a bright, and fake, smile.

"How do you keep track of them all? Have you ever lost one?"

"I've only ever lost one," the lady said. "Years and years ago. A little guy with soft brown fur and the most adorable blue eyes. One day he just slipped away and never came back. Oh I looked for him, I sure did, but there was no finding that one. Poor little guy, he must have been so frightened out in the big world all alone."

Dan tuned out the TV. Listening to this old lady rambling about her pets was really getting old. He used to find nekos so cool, almost every kid did, but he had inevitably lost interest. It wasn't like he could get one anyways. Those things were expensive. They were really more of an exotic pet. Besides, like any pet, their lifespans weren't very long, and by the time they started losing their fur around 7 or 8, it was just more humane to put them down. 

Dan shut off the TV. He didn't have time to be thinking about pets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm yeah. First phanfic. Feels a little weird because they're real people but ah well. We'll see how this goes because while I have a general idea about what I want to happen, I really have no clue what I'm doing. Wish me luck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everything happens quickly in a chapter about twice as long as the first because I am impatient.
> 
> Can't you tell how great I am a pacing?

"Hello again Dan." Dan looked up from his jam and bread to find himself eye to eye with a familiar face.

"Oh. Uh. Hey..." He glanced at the cashier's name tag, "Phil."

Phil's smile faltered only for a second. 

"So bread and jam then," he said, scanning the first of Dan's items.

"And chocolate," Dan added, nudging the candy on the conveyor belt with his finger.

"And chocolate," Phil repeated.

Dan shuffled awkwardly.

"So Dan," Phil said, and Dan couldn't help but internally wince at the fact that he was still trying to make conversation. "Where do you work? Or... Do you...?"

"I work," Dan said, giving him a flat look. "I'm not twelve." 

"Sorry," Phil said, laughing awkwardly. He was scanning Dan's groceries incredibly slowly.

"I work in radio," Dan found himself saying. "I'm an intern at BBC 1. A paid intern."

Phil laughed again at Dan's pointed look.

"Well that sounds very interesting," Phil said, "I'd love to hear more about it."

Dan blinked, Phil's comment about his eyes from last week flitted through his mind.

"You know, I'd love to," he said, "But it looks like you've got your own job to worry about."

Dan nodded to the large bearded man who had just started emptying his basket onto the conveyor belt.

Phil looked disappointed. His eyes seemed to grow even bigger.

"Some other time then?" he said.

Dan nodded before he could stop himself. Phil's face lit up. Damnit. He really didn't need some guy he could run into every time he needed butter flirting with him. He wasn't even gay.

"Bye Dan!" Phil called out as the automatic doors slid open in front of him.

Dan turned and half waved, shaking his head as he left. He couldn't help the small smile that remained on his face.

***

Dan definitely did not keep his eyes out for Phil the next time he went to the store. And if he happened to randomly pick the isle with the black haired cashier with yet another grey beanie covering most of it, well that certainly wasn't his fault.

"What, do you work every shift?" Dan joked as he put the package of oreos and sacks of apples and carrots and plastic covered tofu onto the conveyor belt.

Phil laughed. 

"Pretty much," he said; his voice sounded a little different. "I'm saving up for something big."

Dan leaned on the counter. 

"And what's that?" he asked.

"Oh you know," Phil said, waving vaguely, "just a thing."

Dan raised his eyebrows but didn't pry. He barely knew the guy after all.

"You sound a little funny," he said. "Are you alright?"

"Just the plague," Phil said, punching numbers into the machine. "I'll be over it pretty soon as long as I don't die terribly first."

Dan found himself laughing.

"Well get better man," he said. "And you shouldn't come to work if it gets any worse."

"Will do boss," Phil said with a mock salute.

Dan laughed again.

"So, I'd guess a new diet," Phil held up the tofu, "but then you've got these." He pointed to the oreos.

"What are you suggesting?" Dan said, completely offended of course. Phil's laugh was somewhat addicting to listen to.

"Actually I'm vegan," Dan admitted. "I have been for a couple months now."

"But you were just buying milk the other week," Phil said, confused.

"Er. Almond milk." Dan clarified. "Can't believe you don't remember. Gosh Phil."

He was surprised Phil knew what he bought at all. Even he could barely remember what he was buying last week.

"Must have been distracted," Phil said, finally letting the total cost pop up on the screen. They were really lucky it wasn't a busy time or someone would be yelling at them for chatting so much.

Dan reddened slightly.

Phil smiled, then his eyes went wide and he started coughing harshly into his elbow. Dan handed over his card when he was done.

"Seriously though," he said, "just stay home tomorrow."

Phil shrugged. That didn't seem too promising.

***  
Dan needed toothpaste. Well, he had toothpaste, but there was definitely only about a week's left. And he could just go the corner store, which was much closer, but he hadn't been out of his flat all day and could use a longer walk. He definitely was not checking to see whether a certain blue(?) eyed cashier had taken his advice and not come in to work. That would be dumb.

Dan spotted Phil on his way into the store and frowned. Maybe he was feeling better. When Dan went to check out, Phil was looking paler than ever. And that was saying something. His eyes were red and watery and had dark circles underneath them.

"Hey Phil," Dan said, slightly worried.

"Oh, hi Dan," Phil's mouth barely moved. Now Dan was really worried.

"How are you doing?" he asked, as if he didn't already know.

"Fine," Phil said, scanning the item all too quickly. Dan frowned.

"You should go home," he said. "Seriously. Just tell your manager. They'll understand."

Phil waved him off.

"It's fine. It's fine," he said. "Nice seeing you."

Dan paid for the toothpaste and walked away. Casting one last worried look at Phil before heading for the door. He was about to step into the parking lot when someone called out to him.

"Hey!" Dan turned. It was some other grocer.

"You're the one always talking to Phil, yeah?" he said, a nervous look on his face.

"Well I wouldn't say always..." Dan said.

"Listen mate, he just passed out. Right where he was standing."

"What?" Dan immediately turned and started heading back towards the store for some reason. What was he doing? He still barely knew this guy.

"Yeah, just plop," the guy said, managing to keep up with Dan's speed walking. "Figured you know him, you probably know what to do."

Dan bit his tongue to stop himself from explaining the actual nature of their relationship.

"Hope he's not dead," said the guy. "I'm Chris by the way."

When Dan reentered the store, there were a couple of people gathered around the station he had just stood at.

"Nothing to see here, people." The rather loud cashier dispersed the onlookers. "We've got the situation under control."

A blond woman was sitting on the ground with Phil's head in her lap. He was shaking violently and his skin was suddenly flushed. Dan knelt beside him, not quite sure what to do know that he was here. He should have walked away when he had the chance.

"Don't you guys have emergency information or something?" 

Chris shrugged.

"The manager's on holiday," he said. "No one can find the keys to her office."

"Oh," Dan said. "Well what am I supposed to do then?"

Chris looked suddenly exasperated.

"You're the one who knows him," he said.

"I don't know where he lives!" Dan countered.

"Well why don't you? You guys are flirting constantly. Haven't got that far yet, huh?"

"Uh. Guys." It was the blond lady. She was feeling Phil's forehead. "I really don't think now is the time for fighting. He's burning up."

"Just take him to the hospital or something," Chris said, looking at Dan.

"I don't have a car," he said.

"I do." They both turned to the blond lady.

"I'll take him," she said, then turned to Dan. "You know him right?"

"Er. Sort of."

She sighed.

"Well sort of will have to be good enough. Come just in case he wakes up and freaks out about being in some stranger's car."

Dan blinked.

"Well?" she said. 

"Ok."

And that's how he found himself with one arm of a half conscious man he barely knew draped around his neck, supporting half his weight while a chatty grocer held him up from the other side. They staggered out the door and waited by the edge of the parking lot while the helpful woman pulled her car up to the entrance.

With some difficulty, they managed to get Phil into the back seat. 

"Right well, good luck with that then," and then he just turned and walked away.

Dan sighed and got in the back seat beside Phil. He managed to get Phil's seatbelt buckled, then his own.

"All set?" 

"Yeah," said Dan.

They were barely out of the parking lot when Phil started to groan. The woman glanced at them in the rear view mirror.

"Is he waking up?" she asked.

"Phil?" Dan said, patting his face gently. Jesus Christ he really was burning up.

Phil grunted and opened his eyes a crack. 

"S'going on?" he slurred, his eyes glassy and damp.

"You fainted," Dan explained. "We're taking you to the A&E." 

Phil closed his eyes again.

"Can't," he choked out. "Not there."

Dan furrowed his brow.

"What? Why?" 

"Sweetie, you've got a really high fever. You don't mess around with those." The blond woman glanced at them in the back seat.

"Not registered," he said. 

Dan gave him a confused look.

"Not registered for what?"

Phil broke into a heavy cough. Dan rubbed his shoulder reassuringly.

"I'm not..." His eyelids were flickering; Dan could see that he was fighting to stay conscious. "technically a citizen. Can't afford A&E."

Dan looked up into the rearview mirror and met the woman's eyes.

"Should I pull over?" she asked.

"Yeah," Dan said. "If that's alright. Let's just figure this out."

They found a spot on the curb and parked. Phil blinked slowly, his eyes glassy. Dan turned to him and shook his shoulder gently to keep him awake.

"Ok, listen. You're going to need a hospital whether or not you can afford it," the lady said, turning to the backseat. "I'll help however I can, but fevers this high can be fatal. Is there a family member or someone you can call?"

Phil shook his head.

Dan stared at him. He wasn't a citizen but he spoke like he had lived all of his life here. He didn't have any family he could contact but he couldn't be much older than Dan. Who was he?

Sweat was dripping down Phil's face, Dan couldn't imagine the hat was helping.

The woman looked like she was barely hiding the stress, but managed to keep a calm facade. She turned back forwards and pulled out her phone to, presumably, look something up.

Dan reached up to remove Phil's hat. 

Phil's hand shot up and caught Dan's wrist in his clammy palm, a look of pure distrust on his face.

Dan gulped, suddenly aware of the situation he got himself into: Stuck in a stranger's car with a delirious, and quite possibly dangerous, man who was just as unknown to him.

Dan tugged at his wrist, but Phil wouldn't let go, his eyes still fixed on him in a glare.

Then something sharp dug into Dan's skin. He yelped and yanked his hand away.

By the time the woman reacted and turned around, Phil had passed out again. Dan held his wrist to his chest. A wetness on his fingers promised blood.

He glanced at Phil's limp hand. What looked like thorns had sprung from his fingertips, just behind the nail. As he stared, they slowly retreated back into his skin. 

Dan's eyes widened. 

"Ok, not the hospital," he said, glancing at Phil's hat.

"What?" The woman looked so confused.

He tried to make sense of everything in his head, but everything was foggy and confusing.

"Look just. If he really doesn't want to go to the hospital that badly, I'd rather not be the one to force him," she looked twice as confused.

"My cousin's a doctor," Dan said. "I'll give him a call. He should know what to do."

The woman furrowed her eyebrows.

"Okay," she said slowly. "Where should I take him then? Cause he's not staying in my car."

"My place," Dan said before he could stop himself. He winced.

He told her his address and she shook her head as she plugged it into her GPS.

"You're crazy. But ok," she said.

Dan stared at Phil the whole way there. He was breathing shakily, but showed no signs of waking up.

When they pulled up in front of his complex, he managed to get Phil out and somehow supported his weight, though his knees were buckling. The woman stepped out of the car, still looking worried.

"Hold on a second," she said, rummaging through her purse. Dan shifted Phil's weight uncomfortably. She pulled out a note pad and a pen and scribbled something down before tearing out the page and handing it to Dan. It was a phone number.

"Call me if something goes wrong," she said. "Or right. I mean, seriously, just let me know how he's doing. And please take his temperature. If it's higher than 40, call 999. No matter what he says."

Dan nods.

"Oh. My name's Louise by the way. Louise Pentland."

"Dan Howell," Dan said, "I'd shake your hand, but you know..."

"Do you need me to open the door for you or something?" Louise asked.

"No. Thanks. I think I've got it," he said. "Thank you for your help though. Not a lot of strangers would go that far to help someone out."

Louise smiled.

"Says you," she said. "Now get him to bed. He looks like he's waking up again."

Dan glanced at Phil and she was right, his eyelashes were fluttering. He needed to get him inside. He did not want to be holding him up like this when he woke up completely.

Even so, he waited until Louise got into her car and drove off before turning to his own front door.

Right. What the hell did he get himself into?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it.
> 
> Sorry about taking so long to update. December's been a bit of a shit-storm what with school speeding up and having to literally knit a hat for everyone I know (AKA like four people). 
> 
> Point is, I have neglected this corner of the internet in favor of spending time on tumblr and youtube so... 
> 
> Sorry. 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter?

Phil ended up staying on Dan's couch all through Sunday, despite his protests. Dan had to go out and run some errands, so he left Phil with a bowl of soup and a box set of Death Note, which apparently, Phil had never seen before. 

Dan figured he should have some reservations about leaving a stranger in his apartment alone, but given the fact that Phil couldn't do much more than cough and wallow, he had a feeling it was pretty safe. 

When he got back home, he found Phil sitting on the couch, enthralled by the anime. His bowl of soup sat, barely touched, on his lap. 

"Seriously Phil?" Dan said, taking the bowl from him. 

"Oh." Phil looked as if he had never seen the soup in his life. "Sorry. I guess I forgot." 

Dan sighed and took the bowl to the kitchen. Phil really hadn't eaten much all day. He supposed it was the illness. 

It was halfway through their third episode of Death Note when Dan sat straight up and smacked himself in the forehead. 

"Come on, really?" he said to himself. Phil gave him a bewildered look. 

"What?" he asked. 

Dan was already up and out of the room though. He found the pair of jeans he had worn yesterday and dug through the pockets. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found the small notebook page he had been looking for. 

He dialed the number, double checking to make sure he got it right. 

"Hello?" 

"Hi, Louise. It's Dan. From the other day." 

Louise squealed. 

"Oh good," she said. "I was so worried. How are you? How's Phil? Is he ok?" 

Dan laughed. 

"Yeah, Phil's fine," he said, walking down the hall to the living room where Phil still looked very confused. "Here. He's right here." 

Dan put the phone on speaker and set it on the coffee table. 

"Hi Phil!" Louise said cheerily. "How are you feeling?" 

"I'm... Good. A bit confused at the moment," he said. "Um... Sorry if this is an odd question, but who are you?" 

Dan hit himself again. 

"Oh! That's right. You probably don't remember," she said. "Hi. I'm Louise. I drove you to Dan's place yesterday when you collapsed." 

Phil looked surprised. 

"Oh," he said. "Thank you. Wow." 

"Louise told me to call and update her on how you're doing," Dan explained. "Sorry. I forgot that you... Forgot." 

Phil laughed quietly. 

"It's fine," he said. "I'm just surprised is all. Just, both of you went completely out of your way to help me out. That's... Well it's not something I'd expect." 

"Don't worry about it at all sweetie," Louise said. "You needed help." 

Then she asked about how the past two days went, and Dan explained to the best of his ability how he was taking care of Phil. He made sure to mention that Phil's temperature was back in a reasonable range. 

"How are you Dan?" Louise asked, "Aren't you going to catch whatever he has?" 

Dan stilled. 

"Well shit," he said. "I didn't even think about that." 

Phil immediately looked guilty. Dan shrugged. 

"Oh well," he said. "If I get it I get it. Not much I can do about it now." 

*** 

Dan pressed his palms into his eyes and groaned. Then he rolled on his side and glanced at the digital clock on his night stand. 

3:18. 

He had to get to work early the next day. The radio station was doing a special and they needed all of the extra hands they could get. Even though he told himself this constantly as he lay in bed, shifting positions periodically, his brain refused to shut off and let him get some actual rest. 

He was thinking about Phil. About how different he acted when he had been delirious versus when he was normal. The difference was astounding. In the car, he had been terrifying to be around, almost seeming feral. But as soon as he was back in his right mind, he was probably the sweetest guy Dan had ever met. 

Dan didn't really know what to think. Sure Phil was odd. For one, he refused to remove his hat his entire stay without explaining why. (Of course, it wasn't like Dan has actually dared to ask.) He was also really jumpy. Whenever Dan walked into the room without announcing it, Phil flinched upon noticing him. Dan couldn't help but wonder about his past. 

They hadn't talked much about personal topics, instead sticking to superficial conversation about music and work. Even so, they got on pretty well, and Dan couldn't help but hope that they stayed in touch after this whole endeavor. 

Besides, he couldn't deny that he was curious. 

Dan ran his fingers lightly over the shallow scabs on his wrist. If it weren't for those four little spots of red, he would have thought he had imagined the incident in the car. But no, there they were. 

He should probably have been more freaked out than he was, but some grim curiosity overrided it. 

He wanted to know what Phil was. 

He had to. 

Dan glanced at the clock again. Another ten or so minutes had past. He decided to go get a glass of water and stretch his legs. Laying around for hours was starting to get a bit ridiculous. 

He walked as quietly as he could, only flicking on the light in his room so that he wouldn't wake Phil. He knew that, being sick, the slightest disturbances might wake him up. 

When he got to the living room, he stopped in the doorway. 

What? 

He turned on the light and Phil froze. Dan was staring (not _staring_ ) at his backside as he stood, halfway out the open window. 

"Uh. Phil," he said, crossing his arms and doing his best not to seem like a concerned Dad or something. 

Phil slowly retreated back into the room. When he turned around his face was flushed. He nervously tugged on his beanie. He was dressed in the clothes he had worn when he fainted instead of the pajamas Dan had lent him. 

"Hi Dan." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. 

"Will I even gain anything if I ask what the hell you were doing?" 

Phil just shifted and stared at the floor guiltily. Dan felt a stab of disappointment. 

"Jesus Christ," he rubbed his face with his palms. "Phil, just stay tonight. You can leave in the morning. Through the door. Like a normal person." 

Phil nodded and slowly made his way back to the couch. Dan stayed stood there for a moment after Phil had sat down. 

"Just. Why even..." Dan gestured randomly. "Whatever. It's too late for this. I'm going to bed." 

As he turned off the light and headed back to his own room, he realized he forgot to get himself water. 

Whatever. He was tired enough now without it. 

*** 

When Dan woke up the next morning, the last thing he expected was for Phil to still be there. So he was somewhat surprised to find a familiar figure laying on his couch, completely burried under the blanket Dan had given him and breathing steadily. 

Dan stared at him for a moment, then smiled, watching the grey blanket move up and down slowly with every breath. 

Then his phone buzzed and he jumped. It was just a text from the mobile company offering him some rip-off deal or something. He ignored it, glancing instead at the time. He was going to be late if he didn't finish getting ready. 

He gave the sleeping figure one last reluctant look, realizing he would probably be gone by the time he got home. 

Just as he was about to step out the door, he paused and turned. Then he grabbed a post-it and scribbled a note quickly, sticking it on the coffee table and giving Phil one FINAL reluctant glance before heading out the door and shutting it behind him. 

_Feel free to eat something before you go._

_If you ever need anything: XXX-XXXX-XXXX_

Dan didn't see Phil for a month after that. And he never called.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXPOSITION IS BORING EXPOSITION IS BORING EXPOSITION IS BORING EXPOSITION IS BORING EXPOSITION IS BORING EXPOSITION IS BORING EXPOSITION IS BORING EXPOSITION IS BORING WTF AM I EVEN WRITING

Dan stopped going to Tesco's at his regular times. Instead of mid-morning and late-night runs, he started going in the afternoon on his way home from work.

This way he wouldn't have to have any awkward run-ins with Phil, the guy who slept on his couch for an entire weekend and may or may not have eventually left through the second story window (it was wide open when he got home that day but he couldn't remember if it had been in the morning.)

Of course, while avoiding that awkwardness was definitely a plus, that wasn't the main reason his schedule had changed. 

Dan had gotten a promotion.

Ever since he had worked on the radio special and had to hop in and work the booth when no one else could, his boss realized that he was actually pretty good at doing the special effects and things. Soon enough he had been promoted from filing paperwork and answering phone calls to actually working the control boards.

Which was great and all, especially with the extra money, but it did mean he had to get up earlier and work later more days of the week.

He learned pretty early on that Phil's shifts didn't line up with his new schedule. Every time he began to feel slightly disappointed, he remind himself that he still barely knew the guy and that they're previous interactions had been strictly necessity-based.

Besides, it wasn't like Phil cared enough to call or anything. Why should he?

In a surprising turn of events, Dan actually kept in contact with Louise. It turned out that while on the surface it appeared they had absolutely nothing in common, they actually had a very similar sense of humor. They talked often on the phone and were usually wheezing by the end of the call.

"And then I literally fell down the stairs right in front of him," Dan finished his story, listening to Louise cracking up on the other end.

"I swear I did the exact same thing in front of my prom date," she said eventually when she could breathe. She sighed. "We should really hang out in person some time. I'd love to introduce you to Darcy."

"I don't think the two of us in the same room would be a good idea. We'd probably endanger everyone in the general vicinity, including ourselves," Dan joked. Louise laughed.

"You're probably right," she said. "It'd be hilarious though."

"Coffee then?" Dan suggested. "Sometime this Saturday?"

"Sounds good to me," she said, "Oh. Hold on. I have to go, Darcy's throwing a tantrum. I'll text you."

"Right. Ok. Bye," Dan said. Louise hung up.

It was around ten in the evening, and Dan had already had a long day of work, so he didn't want to do much more than fix himself a snack and watch Netflix. When he went to the fridge to see what there was to eat, however, he found that there really wasn't much. 

Dan groaned. He had been so busy this week that he kept putting off going to the store. If he waited until morning he wouldn't have anything for breakfast.

Dan sighed and grabbed his coat.

One cold and dark walk later, Dan was wiping his damp shoes on the black mat in front of the automatic doors.

The store was quieter than usual, but there were still several late-night shoppers scattered throughout the store.

As he placed his basket on the conveyor belt, he heard a familiar voice call out to him.

"Hey sexy."

Dan looked up in surprise. The loud cashier, Chris, was grinning widely at him.

Dan laughed warily but was at a loss for anything to say. 

"Why, why are you laughing?" Chris said with a straight face. "I don't understand this."

Dan just blinked, completely lost for words.

"I. I called you sexy. Are you not flattered that I called you sexy?"

"Chris! Stop harassing the customers." 

Dan looked around for his savior and found himself staring into a pair of unfamiliar green eyes.

"I'm so sorry about him," the curly haired man said to Dan. "He has issues."

Chris nudged him gently with his elbow.

"Hey, no. We're cool. The two of us, we go way back. This is... This is..." He trailed off. "What's your name again?"

Dan didn't want to be here. He just wanted to finish paying for his groceries and get out. But they were both looking at him so expectantly...

"Uh. Dan," he said. "My name is Dan."

"Dan! Right. How could I have forgotten?"

 _I never told you._ Dan didn't say.

"Right so this is the guy who took care of our good friend Phil when you were away." Chris clapped him on the shoulder awkwardly from across the counter.

The man's eyes immediately lit up.

"Dan!" He said, "I'm so glad to meet you. I'm Pj. I'm the manager. I can't thank you enough for how you helped out Phil."

He shook Dan's hand enthusiastically. Dan smiled and hoped he didn't look constipated.

"It's no problem," he said.

"No really," Pj said, still holding onto his hand and staring into his eyes earnestly. "Thank you. Really."

Did everyone who worked this shift have to be so fucking weird?

"Honestly it's fine," Dan said, yanking his arm away as gently as he could manage.

Pj seemed to suddenly remember his job and began packing away Dan's groceries. Dan thanked whatever supreme being watching over his insignificant life.

Just as he was about to leave, and never return at this hour (ever), he stopped.

"How's Phil?" he found himself asking. "Is he not here tonight?" 

Pj handed him his last bag.

"He's running an errand for me right now actually, since it's not too busy," he said. "He shouldn't be too long if you feel like waiting for him."

Dan thought about it for a moment, then shook his head.

"I'd best be going," he said. "It was nice meeting you."

Pj smiled and nodded.

"And uh," Dan said before he could stop himself, "could you ask Phil to give me a call? If he wants to. Of course."

Pj gave him a funny look, but nodded anyway. Dan waved on his way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... Everyone who has commented has just been super fucking nice so legit thank you for that. I am super tired right now and will probably intensely regret these descriptions and notes when it isn't 1:43 in the fucking morning. 
> 
> Yeah. Thanks. Here's a boring chapter. Maybe future chapters will be more interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE BORING EXPOSITON

Louise was in the middle of a lengthy, but very entertaining, anecdote about her very first date, when Dan's phone rang.

They were sitting in a Starbucks, not too far from Dan's flat. It was relatively busy, but it wasn't as bad as it could be for a Saturday morning. 

"I am so sorry about that," Dan said, taking his phone out to check to see who was calling him. A random number was displayed on the screen. He went to reject it.

"You should answer it," Louise said. Dan looked up.

"I'd hate to interrupt," he said.

"No really, it's fine," she said. "Go ahead. It might be important."

Dan shrugged and accepted the call.

"Hello?" he said, plugging his other ear to block out the noises of the shop.

"Uh. Hi," said the voice on the other end, "This is Phil."

Dan blinked in surprise. Louise raised her eyebrows in interest.

"Oh. Hi Phil," he said. Louise's face lit up. "What's up?"

"Pj said I should call you?" Phil said, though it came out more as a question, "Though I suppose it's a good opportunity to thank you properly. I don't think I ever did."

"Really, it's no big deal," Dan said, a little sick of everyone thanking him for this, no matter how good their intentions. He just wanted to move on.

"It wasn't though," Phil said. "So thank you."

Dan just hummed in agreement, not sure what else to say.

"Sorry, are you busy?" Phil asked.

"Actually, I'm just out to coffee with Louise," Dan said. "You remember Louise, right?"

Dan quickly held out the phone to Louise across the table.

"Hi Phil!" she said, cheerily. 

"Oh," said Phil. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I can go, if that's best."

Dan couldn't help but notice he sounded a little dejected.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I'll call you back later though, ok?"

"You really don't have to..."

"Bye Phil."

Dan hung up, feeling slightly guilty for cutting him off, but a little afraid the conversation would have gone on forever with apologies and politeness. 

Besides, he could just explain later and it would be fine.

Louise smiled at him in a funny way when he stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

"What?" he said, looking at her curiously.

"Oh nothing..." she said, though it obviously wasn't nothing, "Nothing at all."

"No, what?" Dan said, taking a sip of his coffee. "Tell me. Now I'm curious."

She swirled her drink around.

"Its just... Do you like him?"

Dan choked slightly.

"What?" He said between coughs.

"Do you like him?" she repeated.

"What, no," he said, laughing uncomfortably. "I'm not even gay or anything, why would you think that?"

She tilted her head.

"You sort of just... Lit up when you were talking to him," she said, "I don't know, maybe I was imagining it."

Dan laughed again. 

"Must have."

***  
When Dan called back later that day, the phone rang several times before eventually going to voicemail. 

"Hey Phil this is--"

"Hello this is Casper Lee, you have reached my phone but I am not available at the moment. Please leave a message." A distinctly not-Phil voice said.

The phone beeped and Dan was at a loss for words. After a few seconds of silence he hung up and stared at his phone.

He tried the number one more time and got the same message. This time he hung up when it was halfway done.

He sat down on the couch and turned the phone over in his hands, thinking.

Why would Phil call him from someone else's phone?

He tried the number one last time. This time someone picked up.

"Hello?" The voice said slowly. Dan recognized it as the one from the recording.

"Uh, hi." Dan said awkwardly, "Does someone named Phil live with you?"

"No," he said. "I think you have the wrong number."

"Oh. Well thank you anyway. Sorry. Bye." 

He hung up before he could embarrass himself any further. 

Dan leaned his head back over the edge of the couch and frowned as he stared at the ceiling.

It was obvious by now that something was strange with Phil. 

For one, he was always wearing that same hat (possibly a fashion statement but not likely.)

Two, he refused to be taken to the hospital when he was intensely ill (though he did say it was a money issue, which Dan guessed was understandable.)

Three, he seemingly had weirdly sharp nails... Ok that one could just have been a fluke.

Dan stared at his phone again. He looked at the number he was called from earlier, then the one he just called. They were exactly the same.

Maybe it was a really weird glitch?

Maybe, somehow there were two people with the same number?

Maybe Dan was going crazy...

He decided to sleep on it. 

***  
The next day Dan made a decision he never would have before he had become (let's face it) obsessed with this guy he still barely knew.

He walked into Tesco's around midday, praying that Pj would be there.

He realized he wasn't sure how to find him, so he asked one of the baggers standing at the end of the conveyor belt.

"Excuse me," he said, "do you know where I could find Pj?"

The woman raised an eyebrow at him. 

"You mean the manager?" she said. "Sure, he's probably in the back."

The woman directed Dan in the right area and he headed over, going over his story again in his head.

"Hey Dan!" Pj called out before he even made it to the door marked _staff only_. "What brings you here?"

Dan smiled nervously.

"Actually, I was looking for you," he said. "I was wondering if you could give me Phil's address."

Pj shook his head.

"Sorry, no can do," he said. "It's a legal thing. Have to protect employees from stalkers and all that."

Dan frowned.

He wasn't a stalker... Was he?

He shook off the notion.

"Well see, I've tried calling him, but he won't pick up," he said. "I just need to get in touch with him briefly but my schedule is stopping me from coming during his shift."

Now it was Pj's turn to frown.

"If you've got a message or something for him, I can deliver it," he said skeptically. "But otherwise I can't help you."

Dan bit his lip. He was aware of how sketchy he sounded, but he just... Really needed to know... For. Some reason.

"Something's missing from my flat," he blurted out. "I didn't want to make a big deal about it because I didn't want to get him in trouble, but I really need to speak with him just to check. It's possible he took it on accident but..."

Pj looked surprised. Dan felt horrible but continued anyway.

"Look, I don't want either of you to be put in a bad situation," he said, internally wincing, "so I'd really like to get it back without making a fuss."

Pj seemed to think for a moment, then nodded quietly. Dan's insides burned with guilt.

He led Dan to the door marked _staff only_ and unlocked it with a key from his pocket. Inside was a little office, small but surprisingly warm and nice smelling.

Pj sat down at the computer and brought up the employee records. He clicked through the files and found Phil's, bringing it up. Then he grabbed a post-it note from off his desk and scribbled down the address.

"Look," he said before handing the note to Dan, "Phil's a good guy, and I don't think he's in the best situation at the moment. Whatever is missing I'm sure he didn't take or at least it was an accident."

Dan took the green sticky note and tucked it into his pocket. 

"If it doesn't work out," Pj continued, "come talk to me. We'll have a chat and sort everything out."

Dan nodded and thanked him.

As he walked out of the store, he could feel the guilt eating away at him. He slipped his hand into his pocket and fingered the slip of paper. 

He tried to ignore the guilt. He got what he came for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What??? Another chapter?? In a matter of hours???
> 
> I wrote most of this at 2 am last night after posting chapter 4 so...
> 
> It's another boring plot chapter! 
> 
> When is the cat stuff? You ask. Where is the fluffiness and purring and whiskers??
> 
> I have no fucking clue. I'm just shrugging it up in here.
> 
> When will this story get interesting??? Who knows? Certainly not me!
> 
> I am so tired.


	6. Chapter 6

Dan glanced at the slip of paper in his hand, double checking to make sure he got the building right. It would be awkward enough without him getting the address wrong. The apartment building looked small, but relatively nice. Dan couldn't imagine anyone living there unless they lived alone. 

He blinked, realizing he never thought about the fact that there was a good chance Phil lived with someone. He could have lived with his parents (unlikely, but possible), his girlfriend, boyfriend... 

Hell, Phil could be married for all Dan knew. 

He was suddenly a lot more nervous. 

"Dan?" 

Dan looked up upon hearing his own name and turned to see Phil, holding a grocery bag and giving him a very confused look. Dan opened his mouth and all of the excuses he thought up mysteriously vanished from his head. 

"What are you doing here?" 

Dan closed his mouth, then opened it again. 

"I, uh," he floundered, "I asked Pj for your address." 

Phil's eyebrows furrowed. 

"You asked my manager for my address?" 

"Uh, yes," Dan said. 

Phil stared at him as if waiting for him to say something. Dan couldn't imagine what he expected him to say. 

"Why, exactly?" 

Dan breathed. 

"Oh! Sorry. I tried calling you back, and someone else picked up. They said they'd never met you and I thought that was weird so I wanted to contact you to make sure everything was alright." 

Phil cocked his head at him, tugging his beanie down with the hand not carrying the grocery bag. 

"Well, I'm fine. Obviously," he said. 

Dan nodded. 

"Right," he said. "I can see that." 

Phil said nothing. They stood there for several moments. Awkward silence enveloped them. 

"Well, it was nice seeing you again Dan," Phil said, signaling Dan to leave. 

Dan nodded again. 

"Oh. Yeah. You too." 

He started to walk past him, then realized that he had gotten none of the answers he had come for. 

"Wait, Phil?" 

Phil turned. 

"Um, why did someone else pick up the phone?" 

Phil suddenly looked embarrassed. He tugged nervously on his hat. 

"Oh. I actually borrowed someone else's phone to call you," he explained. Dan gave him a confused look. "I don't actually have a phone. Can't really afford one at the moment." 

Dan's eyes widened slightly in suprise. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't that. 

"What? Do you work every shift?" 

"Pretty much. I'm saving up to buy something big." 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize..." Dan started. 

Phil laughed. 

"No, it's fine. I just, never really had much use for one. There really wasn't anyone to call until you showed up." 

"Is there a family member or someone you can call?" 

Phil shook his head. 

"Oh," Dan said, at a loss for words. 

Phil just smiled. 

"Well it was nice of you to stop by," he said, dismissing Dan for the second time. 

"Yeah. Thank you... and for... sorry." 

Dan nodded, starting on his way. He was still turning over this new information in his head. 

"Oh and Dan!" Phil called out to him. He turned. 

"I never properly thanked you," he said, "for that weekend. So thank you. A lot." 

Dan smiled. 

"Any time," he said, only half joking. "Seriously, if you ever need anything, steal a phone and give me a call." 

Phil laughed. 

*** 

Dan was on his lunch break when he got a call from an unknown number. He sucked in a quick breath, and stared at his phone as it rang for several seconds before picking up. 

"Hello?" he said. 

"Hi, this is Pj," said the voice on the other end. Dan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

"Pj?" 

"Yes. Phil gave me your number." He sounded uncharacteristically serious. Dan bit his lip nervously, hoping nothing was wrong. "I'd like to ask you to stop coming to this place of business and to cease bothering my employees as well." 

Dan felt his heart sink a little. He couldn't think of anything to say. 

"You see, I had a little chat with Phil, and according to him, you never asked about any alleged 'thing' missing from your apartment. Instead you just showed up at his place of residence and inquired about his personal life." 

Inquired about his personal life? 

"But, I didn't..." he said. "I was just..." 

"Dan, I take the safety of my employees very seriously. Many of the people I hire aren't in the best positions financially and socially. They don't need to be worrying about being safe in their own homes as well. 

"Therefore, if you step one foot into this store, or near Phil's home, I will know and I will call the police. Is that clear?" 

"I..." Dan started. 

"Is that clear?" Pj repeated, slower. 

"Yeah--yes." Dan said. "I understand." 

"Thank you. Goodbye Dan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are happening?? Are things happening??? I don't know???? 
> 
> This is a really short chapter.
> 
> You know, when I right two chapters in a row at past midnight, I should probably hang on to one of them so that I can space them out and there's always something to read, instead of posting two in a matter of hours, then waiting an entire week to post something half as long.
> 
> But you know what I'm gonna do? Not that!


	7. Chapter 7

Dan heard scratching at the window. He swore he heard _fucking scratching_ from outside his second story window. He had just been innocently surfing the internet at two AM on his couch when he couldn't sleep and now there was some horror film demon digging it's fucking demon claws into the glass. The part of his brain that made sense was telling him that there was probably a piece of trash or branch or something caught in his window frame or something. The rest of his brain was flipping the fuck out. 

Dan approached the window warily, having grabbed the most dangerous looking item he had on hand, which happened to be the spoon he had eaten his dinner with on the couch. It was too dark outside in comparison to his bright indoor lights, so he could only see his own reflection in the glass, sleep-deprived and frazzled. 

He took a deep breath, gripping the spoon tightly in his right hand and slowly undoing the latch with his left. He would just open the window, pop his head out see nothing and it would be fine. It would all be fine. 

He nearly screamed when a giant black figure came tumbling into his sitting room. 

Dan clasped his hand over his mouth to stop himself and jumped back as a man collapsed onto his floor. 

"Phil?" he said quietly as he thought he recognized the figure. 

Phil groaned. 

"Oh my god." 

Phil slowly pushed himself to his hands and knees before staggering to his feet. 

"Sorry," he mumbled, leaning on the wall behind him. 

Dan hadn't seen Phil in at least two weeks, the last time prompting an angry call from his manager telling him to never set foot near him again. Dan expected to never hear from him again. 

But there he was, wavering on his feet, having just climbed into Dan's apartment through the second story window and... 

Jesus Christ. 

"You're bleeding." 

Phil blinked slowly, leaning harder on the wall for support and holding his left arm against his side. A trickle of blood ran down his face from beneath his hat. 

"M fine," Phil slurred. 

"No. You're really fucking not," Dan said, stepping towards him and reaching out to touch him. 

Something feral lit up in Phil's eyes and he straight up hissed before Dan could get any closer. Dan jumped back, his hands up reflexively. He was still The light dimmed in Phil's eyes. 

"Sorry," he said again, still holding his arm. Dan could see blood seeping between his fingers. "Shouldn't have come here. I just... didn't know where else..." 

"It's fine," Dan said, taking a tentative step forward. "Just... let me help you." 

Dan's heart beat fast in his chest. He took another step forward but while Phil's eyes were locked on to him, he didn't lash out. He swallowed thickly and reached out with one hand, making sure to keep the other in view. His fingers brushed Phil's hand, the one that was wrapped tightly around his other arm. Phil jumped. Dan did too, but ignored the urge to run away. 

"Just, let me..." 

He carefully pried Phil's bloody hand away from his arm. His breath caught in his throat as he realized that the weird thorn-things were back. He winced slightly in memory. His eyes widened even more when he saw what was under Phil's hand. 

A giant gash about as long as Dan's hand ran down the side of Phil's arm. Phil hissed as the cut was exposed to air. 

"Phil," he said, surprisingly calmly. "I need to take you to the hospital." 

Phil snarled. 

"I've already told you," he said through gritted teeth. "I can't go to the fucking hospital." 

Dan's eyes widened in surprise at his language, but ultimately ignored it. 

"Look," Dan said. "I don't know how to deal with this. If I try to patch you up, this could get infected or something. You might lose your arm for all I know." 

Phil only glared. 

"I can't go. To the hospital." 

Dan sucked his breath trying to keep in his emotions, but frustration and fear were taking over. 

"Why can't you go to the hospital?" Dan asked slowly. "And don't give me any bullshit about not being a citizen or whatever." 

Phil didn't answer. He just looked away. 

"Phil." 

"Because." 

Dan gritted his teeth. 

"Because. Why." 

"Because I can't." 

Dan let go of Phil's hand and stalked away throwing his arms up in frustration. He paced back and forth. 

"I don't know how to fucking deal with you!" he said. "You come here, bruised and bloody and don't let me help the only way I know how. I don't fucking know how to sew up a cut or heal a concussion or anything! I'm not a fucking doctor!" 

"Dan." 

"I got lucky last time. That's it. I didn't know what the hell I was doing! I never know what the hell I'm doing!" 

"Dan." 

"And you won't even tell me fucking why! Is it some weird phobia? Are you some sort of criminal or something? How the fucking hell did you even get like this in the first place?" 

"Dan!" 

"And why the fuck did you come to me! What am I supposed to do about it! I don't know--" 

"Dan, look at me!" 

Dan stopped pacing and turned. Phil's face was calm. Dan watched as he reached up slowly. His fingers hesitating for a moment on the edge of his hat before pulling it off completely. Dan's eyes widened. 

"I can't go to the hospital," Phil said slowly. 

Dan nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally shit is happening!
> 
> Relatively short chapter, but an important one! I'm very excited for things to be happening. If you haven't realized it yet, I honestly have no fucking clue where this story is going and am literally making up the plot as I write. That's probably the worst way to write a multichaptered... thing. But ah well! 
> 
> As for my excuses for not writing... I could claim that I had finals this week (which would be true) and have been freaking out about them all this and last week (also true) and that I've been spending all of my time studying (that would the lie) but the truth is I got wrapped up in writing a one-shot called (apparently) FALLING FOR YOU SHOULD BE THE TITLE. I let the first comment decide what the title should be so... heh. If you want to read that while you wait for the next chapter of this, go ahead! (#spon) I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Have a very happy three day (I get four days woot woot) weekend if you live in the US. And if you don't, have a nice regular weekend!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahh. Slightly longer chapter. Woooo. Yeah I don't even know. 
> 
> I'm trying. I really am. 
> 
> I've started posting my fics on tumblr as well (though this one isn't up yet) so if you prefer to follow me there, and be updated on everything I write (as well as possibly a creation I've been working on that isn't fan fiction... if I ever fucking finish it) then you can go do that.
> 
> url is thesmallchameleon.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy!

"Holy shit. Holy fucking shit." 

Dan paced his bathroom, scrambling around in drawers and cabinets for supplies. He found a tiny bottle of expired antibiotic cream and a little box of plasters, but that was it. No bandages. Nothing useful. He grabbed a washcloth on his way out. 

"Phil!" he called as he exited the bathroom. "Phil, I'm going to have to run to the store." 

Phil was slouching on Dan's couch on top of some old towels Dan hoped would stop the blood from staining the fabric. He was back to holding his arm tightly. His hat was back on his head and Dan couldn't find it in him to protest. 

"Do you think you'll be alright on your own for fifteen minutes?" 

Phil nodded. Dan ran and grabbed his wallet from the kitchen counter. Stopping to fill up a bowl with water as he went. 

"Try to clean any cuts if you can," Dan said as he placed the supplies next to Phil. "I'll help you when I get back, but the faster these are cleaned, the less likely they are to get infected." 

Phil nodded again. His face was pale. 

"I swear, I won't be gone for more than fifteen minutes," Dan said as he backed away towards the door. 

Dan literally ran to the corner store. The teenager behind the counter gave him an odd look as he stumbled in, gasping for breath. He immediately headed for the first aid section and almost cried in relief when he saw that they had what he needed. 

He grabbed two boxes of gauze pads and two rolls of bandages, just to be safe, and a tube of antibiotic. Just as he was about to leave, he grabbed dispenser of medical tape as well. 

If the cashier wasn't weirded out before, he certainly was now. 

"Is everything alright, mate?" he asked as Dan fumbled with his change. 

"Yes. Sorry," he said. "Minor emergency." 

He handed Dan the bag. 

"I can see that," he said. "Take care man." 

Dan thanked him quickly as he left. 

After a short sprint home, and up a flight of stairs, Dan was sweating and huffing for air. He locked the door behind him. 

Phil was unconscious on the couch. 

"Fuck," Dan said before rushing over and leaning uncomfortably close to Phil's face. He tried to hold his own breath and ignore the blood thumping in his ears so that he could listen for Phil's. 

When he heard it, he sighed. He was breathing steadily. Deeply even. 

Dan forced himself to calm down and asses the situation. As far as he knew, Phil had two major injuries: a long cut on his left arm and what seemed to be a blow to the head. The knuckles on his right hand seemed to be scraped up pretty bad and there was a little nick on his cheek, but Dan figured he could worry about those later. 

Dan tried not to think about what was under Phil's hat. He could have his meltdown later, there were more pressing matters to attend to now. 

Dan took out his phone and pulled up the page on ehow he had found earlier. 

Right. First step was to clean it. 

Dan glanced at the bowl beside Phil and was pleased, as well as sickened, to see that the water was a murky brownish reddish color. He took the bowl back to the kitchen, dumped it in the sink and filled it up again with clean water. He also rang out the cloth under the running water until it ran clear. Then he took it back to Phil. 

Dan knelt down on the ground beside the arm of the sofa and squeezed most of the water out of the cloth. He gently pried Phil's fingers off of his arm, forcing himself not to gag at the sight of the injury. 

Right. He could do this. 

Dan had to refill the bowl twice before the cut looked anywhere close to clean. He could actually see the line down Phil's arm, smooth and curving back a bit at the bottom. It was a bit shorter than he had thought, and thankfully seemed pretty shallow as it wasn't gushing blood or anything. 

Dan read the next step and shuddered slightly. Alright. He could do this. He squeezed a bit of the antibiotic cream onto his fingers and applied the clear gel to the cut. 

Phil instantly hissed. Dan apologized under his breath as he rubbed the medicine into the wound. When he was done, he glanced at Phil's face and was surprised to find that he was awake and staring at the ceiling, his eyes watering slightly. 

"Sorry about that," Dan said. 

Phil just laughed quietly, wincing. 

Dan relaxed some and got up to rinse off his fingers, dumping the bowl and rag in the sink as he did. 

When he returned, Phil's eyes locked onto him. He watched him as he crossed the room and sat on the floor again, rummaging through the shopping bag. Dan took out one of the boxes of pads and one of the rolls of gauze. He opened the box of gauze pads and realized too late that the ones he had gotten here much too small. He would just have to make do. 

He ripped open one of the little packets and tried not to touch it too much as he placed it on one end of Phil's cut. Luckily it stuck, thanks to the sticky cream Dan had applied. He opened another gauze pad and lined it up. There was still a little bit uncovered so Dan added a third one even though most of it rested on healthy skin. Then he opened the roll of bandages and began winding it around Phil's arm. 

"Let me know if it's too tight," Dan said. 

Phil nodded but said nothing, so Dan assumed it was fine and kept going. Once he had covered the pads completely, Dan realized he had forgotten scissors. 

"Shit," he said. "Can you hold this for a second?" 

Phil took the roll of bandages as Dan went back to the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer. 

He took the roll back from Phil and cut it, holding it in place as he grabbed the tape dispenser with the other hand and tore off a piece. When he was done, he looked up at Phil. 

"Is that alright?" he asked. 

"Yeah. Thank you." 

"No problem," Dan said, standing. "Now lets take a look at that gash on your head." 

Phil hesitated before removing his beanie with his good hand. He winced as the fabric rubbed against his cut. 

Dan forced himself not to stare as he searched the web for information on his phone. 

He whistled through his teeth as he read. 

"Jesus," he said, "this stuff is complicated. And dangerous. Pretty much everything is telling me to take you to a doctor but..." 

He glanced in Phil's direction. 

"Obviously that's not happening." 

Dan ran a hand through his hair as he scrolled through a particularly helpful looking website. 

"Ok, well." Dan stopped. "It might not be that bad. Because your nose isn't bleeding or anything and your eyes aren't doing anything weird... But you did lose consciousness so..." 

"Actually," Phil said, "I think I just fell asleep. I'm kind of exhausted." 

Dan sighed. 

"Well that's good at least. And you're not feeling dizzy or anything?" 

Phil shrugged. 

"I was a bit before, but I think it's cleared." 

"Ok," Dan said. "Then it looks like I should just treat the cut and give you some ice for the swelling. Oh. And it looks like I can give you painkillers. Do you want those now?" 

Phil nodded so Dan went and got two pills and a glass of water as well as another cloth so that he could clean this cut at well. 

It was a bit more awkward treating this injury, as Dan practically had to straddle him to get a good enough angle. He also had to hold his fringe out of the way as he worked and when it came to wrapping the bandages around, he was basically hugging his entire head. Phil was not helping at all and didn't even close his eyes as Dan worked. 

Dan let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he had been holding when he finally finished. He ran his fingers over the bandages quickly as if to check his work, then climbed off of Phil's lap and went to go get him an ice pack. 

Phil held the ice to his head as Dan dabbed the scab bellow his right eye with a damp paper towel. He smeared a little bit of antibiotic onto the cut before covering it with a plaster. 

Dan collapsed next to Phil on the couch, thoroughly exhausted. He glanced at the clock beneath the television and gave a weak laugh when he saw that it was a little past four. 

Jesus fucking Christ. 

"Dan?" Phil said. 

"Yeah?" 

"Thank you. Seriously. For everything." 

"Yeah, of course." 

Several minutes of silence passed. Dan wasn't sure how he was managing to keep his eyes open, but he also didn't know how he was ever going to get himself to sleep tonight. 

"Phil?" he said. 

"Yeah?" 

"Are we going to talk about the fucking cat ears?"


	9. Chapter 9

Dan stared at the ceiling, his eyes wide open but facing the same pitch darkness he would be had they been closed. It was at least four AM but despite the fact that he was fucking exhausted from tending to Phil's injuries then staying up for at least another hour talking about his past, he wasn't all that surprised that he was having trouble falling asleep. 

He couldn't stop running certain parts of the conversation they had had over in his head. 

_"So are they like, some really weird body modification or something? Sorry, I mean. No offense or anything."_

_"I'm not human," Phil blurted out._

_Dan blinked at him, then laughed awkwardly._

_"Sure you're not," he said nervously. "What are you then, a furry?"_

_Phil gave him a bemused look._

_"I'm not kidding," he said quietly._

_That was when Dan stood up and walked to the other side of the room, his fingers laced through his hair._

_"You're crazy," he said quietly._

_"I'm not," said Phil, "I'm a neko actually. I think."_

_"You think?" Dan said a little too loudly for three in the morning. "How do you just, think you're a neko? You're huge! Nekos are... small... and fluffy!"_

_"I used to look like that," Phil said. "But then I just stopped. I got really sick and my fur started falling out. It was... Terrifying. But I lived. And now I look like this."_

_Dan's eyes widened._

_"Your fur started falling out?" he said, his voice shaking. "Phil... How old were you? How old_ are _you?"_

_Phil looked confused._

_"I don't know, eight maybe nine," he said. "And I'm 28 now, I think. I've never been very good at keeping track..."_

_Dan scrubbed his face with both of his hands._

_"Fucking hell," he said. "You're an anomaly. You've got to be. Or you're just plain crazy."_

_"I already told you," Phil said curtly. "I'm not crazy."_

_Dan sighed, then turned around to face him. If he wasn't seeing the ears himself he wouldn't believe it at all. He wasn't sure he believed it even though he was._

_"Ok, fine," he said. "Let's say I believe you, but you're going to have to explain everything."_

_Phil sighed._

_"I expected as much."_

Dan could still hardly believe that Phil was actually a... housepet. He ate from a bowl on the floor at one point. Did he still do that? Dan certainly hoped not. That would be really awkward. 

He smacked himself in the head. 

Of course he didn't. Dan saw him eat before. He ate like a normal person. Jesus Christ. He couldn't think of Phil as an animal. But then, it wasn't like he was human either. So, how was Dan supposed to act around him? Normally? Cautiously? Phil proved on more than one occasion that he could be dangerous. Was Dan even safe taking Phil in like this? 

Right. Taking him in. 

_"The first thing you should know," Phil said, not meeting Dan's eye, "is that I don't have any money."_

_Dan nodded. They were sat on opposite sides of the couch. Dan's flat really wasn't prepared for company so he didn't really have alternate seating._

_"That's not all that surprising actually," Dan said as gently as he could. "I kind of figured that out from the minimum wage job and seedy neighborhood. No offense."_

_"No, you don't get it. I literally don't have any money."_

_Dan gave him an odd look._

_"What do you mean?" he said. "You have a job. And a flat."_

_Phil turned to face him._

_"I don't have a flat Dan."_

_Dan frowned. Phil started idly messing with the bandages on his head but stopped when Dan gave him a pointed look._

_"Yeah, you do. I've seen it."_

_Phil just shook his head._

_"I actually... er. Live in the alley. Behind that complex. I needed an address to put on my job application so I just picked one and hoped no one would notice."_

_Dan's eyes widened._

_"Oh," he said._

_Phil stared at the ground._

_"I've been saving up," he said in a small voice. "I only got my job a couple of months ago. I've done odd jobs and stuff in the past. Nothing permanent. Whatever I can get away with before someone starts looking into my personal life and I have to leave. But... now it's all gone."_

_Dan scooted a little closer, resisting the strange urge to hug him. Dan frowned. That was odd. He wasn't a very huggy person._

_"What happened?" he asked gently._

_Phil looked up and laughed bitterly, gesturing to the bandage on his arm._

_"This," he said. "I got mugged. Years of hard work down the drain. And I was so close too."_

_Dan didn't know what to say. He was a little afraid that Phil was going to start crying. He wasn't sure he knew how to handle that._

_"I'm sorry for showing up on your doorstep like this," he said._

_"You mean window?" Dan joked, trying to lighten the mood and succeeding in getting a weak laugh out of Phil._

_"Yeah. I just... didn't know where else to go. I've lost everything. You're... This was the only place I could think of."_

_Dan scooted a little closer and placed a tentative hand on Phil's back. Phil looked up at him._

_"You can stay as long as you need to." Phil's eyes widened. "No, don't say anything. I'm serious. Help out around the place if you can, but stay as long as you need to get back on your feet."_

_If Phil looked like he was going to cry before, it was about twelve times worse now. Dan bit his lip, nervously. He hoped he didn't say anything wrong._

_"I'll pay you back someday," Phil said. "I swear..."_

_Dan waved him off._

_"Don't worry about it," he said, smiling. "Besides, it's been too long since I've had a flatmate."_

So... that was a thing that happened. And Dan guessed was going to continue happening. Seeing as it took years for Phil to save up enough the first time, he assumed they'd be living together for quite a while. They should really figure out a more long term sleeping arrangement. Phil sleeping on the couch in the living room was going to get old, fast. 

This was all happening so fast. Dan didn't really know how to feel about it. Having a stranger move in was just so... He guessed he should probably stop calling Phil a stranger. After all, he'd seen so many sides of him already. But it's not like he knew what he was like to live with. Or how he acted... in normal situations. 

He sighed. The situation definitely was not normal. 

_"I had an owner when I was little. She was nice. That's really all I can remember about her though. I ran away the night before my seventh birthday. I remember that._

_"I had a sister. I don't know if we were actually related, but she was my sister, maybe two years older than me. She used to take care of me sort of. I mean, obviously the lady who owned me fed me and took care of me and stuff, but my sister was the one who slept beside me and played with me. The lady was nice, but I didn't understand her. And she didn't understand us._

_"Then one day she got sick, my sister did. A week later she was gone. And she didn't come back. I waited for months. When my birthday came around... I realized she wasn't coming back._

_"I don't know. I was scared and confused. So I ran. It's all vague memories at this point. It was such a long time ago._

_"Anyway, I lived in backyards and alleyways. Foraging for food in trash cans and stuff. I got by OK on my own. It wasn't as nice as my old home, but it was fine._

_"And then... I got sick. Really sick. Vomiting, shaking, itching, nosebleeds... It's a miracle I lived through it in retrospect. Back then it seemed like forever. Now, I think it was probably about a month and a half. The freakiest bit was my fur falling out. I didn't really know what dying was but I think I sort of knew that that was what was happening._

_"And then, it was all over. One morning I woke up after the last of my fur had fallen out and I felt... fine. Different. But fine._

_"I didn't have to hide as much after that. I just hid my ears and pretended to be human. Obviously I had to avoid police and anyone who might be wondering why there was some ten year old wandering the streets by himself, but for the most part... it was fine._

_"I taught myself the things I needed to know to survive."_

__

Dan swallowed. He just couldn't imagine... Growing up like that. Having to raise yourself. He had been terrified of the dark as a kid (still was a bit to be honest) and could remember crawling into his parents' bed when he had nightmares until he was at least eleven. To spend nights in cold dark alleyways all by himself with no one to turn to... he wouldn't expect himself to last. 

_"You're quiet," Phil said after several minutes. Dan nodded slowly._

_"Sorry," he said. "It's just... a lot to take in."_

_Phil nodded and stared at his hands. Dan leaned back on the sofa and covered his face with both hands._

_"You do know what normally happens to nekos when their hair starts to fall out," he said after a while._

_"Yeah," Phil said. "I figured that out eventually."_

_Dan's stomach sank._

_"Holy shit," he said, his hands falling from his face. "Holy... fuck."_

_Phil didn't say anything._

_"They're killing... oh god. They're killing kids," Dan said, staring at the ceiling. "They're killing kids and they don't even know... or they do. I don't... fucking hell."_

_He couldn't stop thinking about all of the nekos he'd seen in pet shops and TV shows. Commercials... Photographs... All of them were just kids, according to Phil. Kids that could grow up into full fledged adults. They could, they were supposed to have lives. Whole existences that were just, clipped far too short._

_"This is insane," he said eventually, thoroughly traumatized by now. "I would have never thought... Jesus."_

_He sat up slowly and glanced at Phil, who just looked exhausted. Dan didn't blame him. It had been a very long day._

_"Wait," he said suddenly. "Nekos have tails."_

_Phil just looked at him._

_"Holy crap you have a tail."_

_Phil shrugged._

_"I just sort of tuck it down one of my pants legs and nobody notices."_

__

Dan fell asleep with one arm hanging off the bed at 4:27 AM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some issues figuring out how to structure this chapter. Reveal is such a difficult thing because you have to do it in a way that doesn't just blatantly say everything that is needed to drive the plot along because the characters aren't aware of any plot but it does have to get everything across so that the plot actually can continue...
> 
> I'm sorry I'm tired again. 
> 
> I can't think of anything else to say. I thought there was something. Damnit. Ah well.


	10. Chapter 10

Dan was really lucky that he got over his "call in sick to work because he really didn't feel like going today" phase back when he worked in retail. He was also lucky that he hadn't actually gotten sick in the past couple of months either. (He never seemed to catch whatever it was Phil had. He guessed now that it might have had something to do with the species difference.)

And since he only had an hour and a half of sleep, along with a dull throbbing headache as a result, his boss was pretty convinced he was actually sick just from the sound of his voice.

Once Dan hung up the phone, he dropped it back on the nightstand and rolled over, instantly falling asleep.

When Dan woke up again, the afternoon sun was shining through his blinds. He pushed himself into a half-sitting position, still groggy with sleep. A quick glance at his alarm clock confirmed that it was in fact 3 PM, and that he had slept through a good portion of the day. 

Dan fought his way out of the duvet, his mind too mushy to comprehend anything. As he staggered through the hallway towards the kitchen, he remembered the events of the previous night. Or at least he thought it was the previous night. It could quite possibly all have been a really weird yet realistic dream.

This theory was proven wrong as he entered the kitchen to see Phil, cat ears free and twitching, standing in the middle of the room with his hand stuck in a box of cereal.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand. Phil jumped and dropped the box, spilling frosted wheats all across the floor. 

 

"Sorry!" he said, turning around and shrinking slightly, "I was hungry and I didn't know where you kept your bowls and I didn't want to wake you up because you were up really late and I felt bad."

Dan raised his eyebrows at the cat-man hybrid standing in the middle of his kitchen surrounded by a minefield of sugar cereal.

Then he sighed, went to the cabinet, and grabbed two bowls as well as the box of shreddies from next to the microwave. Then he got out the milk and two spoons and silently poured them both "breakfast." Nevermind that it was past lunchtime. Phil thanked him sheepishly.

Since the kitchen was a mess, and Dan didn't even feel like thinking about cleaning it, he took his bowl of cereal to the couch in the living room. Phil followed him silently like, well, like a cat.

"I'm sorry about the..."

"Don't worry about it," Dan sighed.

They ate in silence. Dan thought he might put in an anime or something to make things less awkward, but the thought of standing up to go and put the disk in while his cereal inevitably went soggy was enough to make him exhausted.

When he finally glanced over at Phil, he caught him messing with the bandages on his arm absentmindedly.

"Hey, quit it," Dan said, giving him a pointed look. Phil frowned.

"It itches," he whined. 

"I have to change them anyway," Dan said. "Just wait like, five minutes and I'll do it. Finish your cereal."

Phil scrunched up his nose.

"When did you become my mum?"

Dan laughed. 

"When you showed up on my doorstep and begged me to take you in," he said.

Phil put down his spoon.

"Hey!" he said. "First of all I did not show up on your doorstep. If I remember correctly I collapsed on your living room floor. And secondly I don't remember any begging. Besides, I don't expect you to actually 'take me in' or anything."

Dan raised his eyebrows at Phil as he watched him take another bite of cereal.

"Well I'm not going to coddle you and cook your every meal if that's what you're getting at," he said. "Once you're back to being functional, you can do your fair share of chores."

Phil looked up from his bowl and cocked his head at Dan, ears twitching slightly.

"What do you mean, chores?" he asked. Dan gave him a surprised look.

"Well I'm not going to do everything myself. If you're going to stay here..."

"If I'm going to..." Phil frowned.

Dan stared at him. He... Phil did realize Dan was letting him stay right. They had agreed that last night. Dan had even said they were going to be flatmates.

"Phil, I'm not going to let you go back to living on the streets," Dan said. "I've told you that already."

Phil gave him an odd look.

"You were sleep deprived and I looked like a wreck. You probably weren't in the right mind for making huge decisions like that."

If Dan was being honest, Phil still looked like a wreck. He was abnormally pale, even for him and the rose-stained bandages wrapped around his head weren't the most convincing mark of wellness.

"Phil, you're staying," he said, standing up now that he'd finished his cereal. 

"But..." Phil followed him towards the kitchen.

"No buts," Dan said firmly. He placed his bowl in the sink and turned to Phil.

"Look," he said. "For all I know you're an awful flatmate and for all you know I'm a nightmare to live with, but no one deserves to live the way you did. No offense."

Phil opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then stared at his feet. He was still holding his bowl. Dan held out his hand for it and stacked it on top of his in the sink.

"Let me change your bandages and then we can watch something. I called in sick to work today so I feel like I'd be wasting it if we didn't sit around for several hours watching television."

***

"I'm going to pay you back for all of this one day," Phil said later. 

"You really don't have to," Dan said, only half paying attention to the seventh or eighth episode of attack on titan of the day.

"I'm going to though." 

"Ok then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok wait. I just remembered. Do Dan and Phil call it "the lounge" instead of living room? Is that a British thing? Should I fix that? Please someone tell me if that is more correct. Thanks.


	11. Chapter 11

Suddenly switching from living alone for the past three years to having a full time flat mate was strange to say the least. The first week was absolutely exhausting what with having to go to work every day, then come home to find a way to provide food for two, not to mention having to clean and rewrap Phil's injuries at least twice a day to stave off infection.

It got better though. After a week, Dan was too exhausted to protest any more and finally let Phil take over some household chores. They started small, as Phil wasn't all that used to living in a house and still wasn't completely healed, with tasks such as doing the dishes and laundry. (They were currently sharing Dan's wardrobe but Dan promised they'd go to get Phil some proper clothes as soon as he had time.) Once he got a better grasp of Dan's tastes and preferences, Phil started doing the shopping as well.

Once his injuries had healed enough, Phil went back to work. Pj was very understanding, which was lucky, and accepted Phil's story about tripping on the stairs to his apartment and accidentally splitting his forehead on one of the steps. They had decided not to fill him in on the actual events of that night as it would be pretty hard to explain without acknowledging Phil's... Species.

Dan and Phil took turns cleaning and cooking after that (Phil's cooking skills slowly improved from 0 to fried rice and spaghetti thanks to the internet) though Phil did all of the shopping as Dan was still effectively banned from the most convenient grocery store. By the time the month was over, they had settled in to the new situation.

Dan found that, once he had gotten over the initial weirdness, he quite liked having Phil around all of the time. They got on surprisingly well and the company seemed to be good for him.

When Dan caught Phil complaining to himself about the back pain from sleeping on the couch every night for over a month, they took the plunge and cleaned out the spare room Dan used to hold all of the crap that didn't have a better place. They ordered a bed and other basic furniture off of Ikea and soon enough, Phil had his own proper room. It was a bit small, but Phil insisted that it was perfect.

Though they were reluctant to inform Phil's boss about their living arrangement, Louise was excited to hear the news and was very pleased to finally meet Phil when he was fully conscious. She's brought Darcy along as a surprise and Dan didn't think he'd ever seen Phil smile wider.

When Dan's told his parents he'd gotten a flat mate, they were slightly disappointed at first that he hadn't moved in with a girlfriend, but were very happy to hear that there was someone in his life that was making him happy. He joked that they sounded like they thought he was going to die alone.

"Well, you haven't had a girl in your life since Uni," his mum had said. "You can't exactly blame us."

"I resent that," he said.

Later, when he told Phil about the interaction, he laughed.

"You're, what? 24?" he said. "You've got the whole rest of your life to fall in love."

Dan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah but I'd better do it before I'm middleaged if I'm going to give them grandchildren."

Phil looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Do you think about that?" he said. "Having children one day?"

Dan shrugged.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I'm sure if there was a girl I liked enough, I'd want to, but I haven't ever been in a serious enough relationship to consider that sort of thing."

Phil nodded.

"What about you?" Dan asked. Phil laughed.

"Can you imagine me trying to have kids with someone," he said. "Dating isn't exactly a priority when you're trying to hide your own existence from the world. Besides, I'd have to hide my ears and trail from this hypothetical partner. There's no way I could risk telling someone."

"You told me," Dan said. Phil looked over at him, surprised.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I guess I did."

Phil being half cat (which is basically what he was according to some late night research Dan had done when he couldn't sleep) made some things more difficult than they should have been.

For one, he couldn't leave the house without wearing a hat, which had become easier and easier to forget as both Dan and Phil became more accustomed to having them uncovered around the house.

Dan learned pretty early on that his hearing was impressively more sensitive than that of a human. He apologized profusely for his four AM pacing keeping Phil up, but he insisted that it was fine. According to Phil, his night vision was impressive as well, though that seemed to come at the cost of his eyesight during the day.

Soon after they'd finally gone shopping and bought Phil some clothes of his own, Dan came home to find Phil sitting on the couch in the lounge, cutting holes into the back of his sweatpants to thread his tail through. According to Phil, that was more comfortable than his normal practice of practically binding it to one leg underneath skinny jeans. Dan was surprised to find that Phil's tail was actually light brown, instead of black like his hair and ears. That's when it occurred to Dan that it was impossible for someone as pale as Phil to come by hair that black naturally. 

"You're telling me, that even though you lived on the streets for all of your life, you still found the time and money to dye your hair."

Phil shrugged and leaned back on the sofa, his tail flicking absentmindedly beside him.

"I really didn't like the color," he said. "Besides, it was nice to have one 'luxery thing' when I couldn't even afford a place to stay."

Dan felt a little guilty at that. It wasn't his right to judge how Phil spent his money. And if dying his hair made him happy, it was probably worth the small expense. 

"One thing I don't get though," he said after a moment. "Is that you bothered to dye your ears black, even though they're always covered, but not your tail."

Phil laughed at that.

"Well it wouldn't exactly be convenient to dye my tail and at least my ears are on my head with the rest of my hair." He picked up the end of his tail between two fingers. "I wouldn't be opposed to it though."

Dan tried not to think about how strange this conversation was. 

"So wait, you did this where?"

"Public restrooms," Phil said with a smile. "You just, cover up the roots in front of the mirror, hop in a stall while you wait for it to set, then wash it out in the sink and hope no one walks in while you've got your head wedged under the faucet."

Dan laughed at the very clear image he got when he tried to imagine the situation.

"That's ridiculous," he said. "Oh my god can you imagine if you'd gotten caught."

Phil winced, but was still smiling.

"I'd rather not."

The other thing Dan learned about Phil's tail, through observation, was that Phil seemed to control it just about as well as he controlled the rest of his body parts. In other words, not all that well.

The number of almost-curses Dan had heard shouted when Phil had accidentally smashed it into something was surprisingly high and Dan was curious as to how colorful Phil's language would be if he didn't have such a filter.

Sometimes Dan found himself staring at Phil's tail or ears and just wondering how the fuck this had become a normal part of his everyday life. 

These were the sorts of times he went to look up one question about nekos on the internet and ended up on a Wikipedia link clicking chain that could last for several hours if he wasn't interrupted.

He learned quite a bit about Phil's species that way, and the information he came across surprised and often angered him.

Nekos originated in Japan and were actually genetically engineered by a scientist named Uoya Matsuo back in the 1930's. He had somehow been able to inject the DNA from a human fetus into a pregnant cat in a way that allowed a hybrid. At least, that's what Dan got out of the scientific explanations saturated with words he couldn't pronounce that he found on the internet.

Apparently there had been a shit ton of legal disputes over whether it was humane, but that was twenty years after Uoya had created an entire colony and started selling them on the black market. Some people figured out that you could breed them and soon enough they were everywhere. 

Apparently they'd been illegal in Europe until the 80's, but like many "exotic animals" had been smuggled all over the world long before that.

Uoya had called his creation a nekoko (which pretty much translated to cat child) but the term had been shortened over the years. Apparently they still called them by their full name in Japan where it would have been too confusing to call two entirely different species "cats."

Some of the stuff Dan read sickened him. The life span of a neko was assumed to be 8-9 years, 10 if you were lucky. Around that age they were overcome with a really terrible sickness that no one could quite figure out. People assumed it meant that they were dying and put them down to "put them out of their misery." 

Dan knew, because of Phil, that that sickness wasn't fatal. It was a metamorphosis type thing. Which meant that whenever someone put down a neko, they were murdering a child before they even had a chance at a real life.

Nekos weren't pets. They were people. They were kids. Kids that were being _forced to mate and give birth_ before the age of ten. 

It disgusted him. 

Phil walked in on one of Dan's angry click-chains a couple of months after they'd started living together.

"Hey Dan, do you know where... Woah. What's wrong?"

Dan shoved his laptop off of his lap and crossed his arms childishly.

"Humanity is fucked up that's what," he said through gritted teeth.

"What were you looking at?" Phil crossed the room and tilted the screen towards him. 

"It's so fucking horrible," Dan said, letting his head fall back against the headboard. "Phil. They created a new form of intelligent life. And they don't even fucking realize it because they're too dense to even think that maybe they've underestimated them."

Phil sat on the edge of Dan's bed, his tail swaying absentmindedly. 

"Trust me, I know," he said. "I used to get angry too. But it's just something you have to learn to accept."

Dan's hands curled into fists.

"Why though?" he said. "Why isn't anyone doing anything about it?"

Phil laughed quietly.

"And who's going to do that? You? Remember that the two of us are the only ones who even know nekos can live over ten years."

Dan sat up suddenly.

"You can!" he said, excitement rushing beneath his skin. "Phil, you're walking proof that there's something fucked up with the way nekos are being studied and cared for. Think about it, there's no way anyone could deny..."

"Dan stop."

Dan paused and looked at Phil. He was giving him a wary look. His heart sank when Phil's gaze flicked towards Dan's bedroom window.

"I can't..." he said.

"But you can."

"No, Dan please," Phil said, reaching for Dan's hand and gripping it tightly. "I can't become a science experiment or some freak on American Horror Story. Trust me I've thought it through. I can't... I can't do that to myself. I need to live a normal life, or as close to normal as I can get."

Dan lowered his eyes. He understood. But he was still disappointed. Phil had the opportunity to make a real difference in the world and he was just throwing it away. 

"Dan, look at me." Dan looked up, Phil squeezed his hand tighter. "You have to promise you won't tell anyone."

Dan sighed, but nodded.

"No I need you to promise," Phil said solemnly. "Because if you tell anyone, I will leave. And I won't be coming back."

Dan nodded again, slower this time.

"I promise." Phil's face broke out in a relieved smile.

"Thank you," he said. Then he let go of Dan's hand, gave it a gentle pat and stood. Dan stared at his back as he left the room, watching his tail sway as he walked. Then he stared at his hand, which was still warm from being held. 

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. So Phil wouldn't step up and show the world the truth. Fine. But that didn't mean he couldn't do anything about it himself.

Maybe he could fix things. Maybe one day, Phil wouldn't have to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very aware that genetics/biology do not work that way. Please do not try injecting your cat with fetus juice. I can assure you you won't get cat children.


	12. Chapter 12

"Here's 30 Hours by Kanye West." 

Dan hit the button to start up the cued song and turned off Mike's mic. Then he adjusted the levels and gave Mike a thumbs up through the glass. He nodded and slid off his headphones. Dan watched him slump over on his stool and rub his temples. Dan couldn't not feel bad for the guy. He'd been looking awful all day. 

"Alright?" Dan mouthed when their eyes met. Mike nodded slowly. He wasn't very convinced. 

"Poor guy," Felix said. "The stomach flu has been going around. Jenna's been out all week. Hopefully that's not what he's got. I've heard it's pretty nasty." 

Dan nodded and watched the man in the booth. He really didn't look well. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he looked up, meeting Dan's stare and shaking his head frantically. Dan stood as Mike jumped from his stool and ran out of the booth, a hand clamped firmly over his own mouth. 

Dan and Felix looked at each other, eyes wide. The station was short on staff due to the epidemic and the three of them were the only people working directly on this show at the moment. This _live_ show. 

"What are we supposed to do now?" Felix said, jumping to his feet as well. 

"How the hell should I know!" Dan said. 

"You've been working here longer!" 

"I was an intern for most of that time!" 

The song was ending. Fuck. 

"Ok. Ok shit. I'll go see if I can bring Mike back. You, stall for time." 

"What?" But Felix was already sprinting out of the room. "What am I supposed to do?" 

"Think of something!" Felix called from halfway down the hall. 

The last chords of the song were playing. Shit. Fuck. Shit shit shit. 

Dan tore off his headphones and entered the booth, barely thinking as he put on Mike's headphones and switched on the mic from the internal consal. 

"Hi," he said after he cued the prerecorded transition. "My name is... Dan." 

Fuck, this was live radio, not a gradeschool introduction. 

"Uh, due to some... complications, Mike had to take a break for a moment, so I'll be stepping in until he's no longer... occupied." Dan glanced at the schedule posted in front of him. He needed to fill three minutes before the next song. 

"So that last song, pretty great right?" Dan said grasping at straws for something to say. "I mean, not one of my favorites but come one, everything by Kanye is pretty great TBH." 

He shot another glance at the schedule. Looking for something, anything, to talk about. 

"The next song is going to be The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars. Wow. That takes me back to my emo days. I can literally remember sitting on MySpace listening to this song. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or nostalgic regarding that memory." 

Dan stared at the door. Felix still wasn't back yet, with Mike or otherwise. 

"I wonder if it's the real version, like with the actual yelling. I hope so. I mean, when he sings it it's great too but it just doesn't have that same intensity if you know what I mean." 

Dan looked at the clock. Yes! Finally! 

"And without further rambling, here's The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars." 

Dan cued the song and switched off his mic before finally sighing and allowing himself to relax. Jesus. How did Mike handle this? He guessed he was probably more prepared... But still. He scanned the schedule again, trying to come up with something funny or entertaining to say after the song ended in case Felix wasn't back yet. He would have to fill a solid six minutes before he could play the next song. 

The song was almost over when the door finally opened. Dan practically melted and stood up to hand his headphones over to Mike, but he froze when Felix walked in alone. 

Dan gaped at him as he shook his head and motioned for Dan to keep going. 

"I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing!" Dan yelled through the glass even though he knew Eli couldn't hear him. Felix shrugged. The little shit. 

The song was ending, so Dan had no choice but to cue the transition and switch on his mic again. 

"Didn't that just make you want to put on eyeliner and sob over your last breakup? I know I did." 

Dan glared at Felix as he snorted from the other side of the glass. He was so going to kill him when this was over. 

"Well it appears that I'm going to be hosting the rest of the show today. I really don't think it was a good idea entrusting me with this sort of responsibility, but who knows what goes through those crazy producers heads, am I right?" Dan glared pointedly at Felix who pretended to ignore him by checking the levels. 

"Seriously though, I'm about the last person you should trust when it comes to working. It's not that I've got ulterior motives or constantly slack off, but I am literally so awkward that it physically impedes my ability to interact with people and get things done." 

Felix was still dicking around with the levels, but Dan caught the mildly surprised, and even somewhat impressed, look he gave him between fiddling with the dials. 

"There's was this one time back when I worked in retail..." 

*** 

"And you didn't get in trouble or anything?" Phil asked, grinning at Dan's story. 

"No!" Dan said, still surprised himself. "There really wasn't anything else we could do in the situation so I guess they feel we dealt with it the best we could." 

"I still can't believe he just left you," Phil said, chuckling. 

"I'm so going to murder him the next time I see him. I swear to god." 

Phil just laughed and leaned back on the sofa. Dan was sitting sideways with his back up against the armrest and his feet tucked up in front of him. He nudged Phil's side with his foot. 

"Seriously though, who does that?" Dan crossed his arms over his chest but couldn't help the small smile that came across his face. Phil sighed and prodded the bottom of Dan's foot. Dan's toes curled in response. 

"I wish I could have heard it," he said. "That would have been immensely entertaining." 

Dan rolled his eyes. 

"Oh shut up," he said. "Honestly I'm lucky they didn't fire me. No one wants to listen to me waffle on about random shit." 

The next week Dan's boss called him in to offer him an opportunity to host a special that was coming up. 

Phil listened to the whole thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to tell you that the reason I've been slacking on this fic is that I've gotten super sucked in to my schoolwork and have become super productive... but the past three weeks have been spent watching all of Attack on Titan and Free! and of course reading way too much fan fiction.
> 
> Sigh.
> 
> Ngl, I'm kind of running out of momentum for this fic. Like, I never really had much direction w/it in the first place and now... I don't know. I'm going to do my best to finish it because I know that the most frustrating thing in the world is starting a fic only to realize that the last time it updated was five years ago. But we'll see. I'll do my best. :)


	13. Chapter 13

Dan was scrolling through tumblr when he heard the knock. 

"Phil! The door. Be decent," he called as he shoved his laptop off of his lap. He stretched as he stood as he had been hunched over in that same position for several hours now. 

"Thanks!" Phil responded from wherever he was in the house. Dan went to get the door now that Phil knew to cover up or be out of sight. 

"Felix?" Dan scratched the back of his head in confusion. He had expected some random solicitor. 

"Hey Dan," Felix said. "Can I come in?" 

He didn't wait for an answer and shoved past Dan. Dan watched him walk into his flat and make himself at home on his couch. He hoped Phil had the sense to stay out of sight. 

"Do you want coffee or something?" Dan asked, shutting the door hesitantly behind him. 

"Sure," Felix said, rummaging through his messenger bag. 

"How do you know where I live?" Dan asked as he prepared the coffee. 

"Oh you know, the higher ups were happy to provide it when I offered to run this favor for them." 

Felix rummaged through the messenger bag he had and pulled out a stack of papers. Dan scowled at the sight of them. This was meant to be his day off. Sure he wasn't using it for more than some well-deserved internet browsing, but emergency paperwork was most definitely not part of the plan. 

Dan sighed and sat down next to Felix on the couch, placing the mugs on the coffee table. He held out his hands for the papers and Felix moved as if to hand them to him but pulled them away at the last second. 

"Before you look," he said, placing his hand on Dan's shoulder and pausing dramatically, "I just wanted you to know that I always believed in you man. Always." 

Dan gave him a suspicious look. Felix was acting... weirder than normal. Something was definitely up. 

"What are you on about?" 

Felix handed over the stack and gave him one last pat on the shoulder before sitting back and watching Dan flip through it smugly. 

Dan frowned. 

"I don't get it. What is this?" It wasn't a stack of forms and paperwork like he had been expecting. It almost looked like... no. 

Dan looked up at Felix, his eyes wide. Felix grinned. 

"This isn't..." he said, gripping the papers tightly. 

"Hey Dan, do you know where... oh." 

Dan's attention immediately shifted to Phil. He relaxed a bit when he saw that his ears and tail were safely hidden. 

Felix immediately sat up straight. 

"Uh, hello," Phil said awkwardly. "Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll just..." 

"It's fine," Felix said quickly. Dan gave him an odd look. 

Dan turned his attention to Phil who seemed very lost at the moment. 

"What do you need?" he asked. 

"I was just looking for my Gengar t-shirt? I haven't seen it recently." 

"I think it might be in my closet," Dan said, picking up his coffee and taking a sip now that it had cooled. "You can check." 

Phil shot one last look over at Felix before thanking Dan and heading towards his room. The minute he was out of earshot, Felix turned to Dan. 

"You never told me you had a boyfriend." 

Dan choked on his coffee and almost spilled it all over the couch and floor. Luckily, nothing spilled and he put the mug safely down on the table before he could do any actual damage. 

"Sorry?" he rasped. 

"Whatever, it's none of my business," Felix said. He seemed to suddenly remember the papers Dan had in his lap and stared at them for a moment before looking back up at him. "So?" 

Dan stared at the text in front of him. 

"Are you pulling a prank on me or something?" Dan said. Felix laughed. 

"No," he said. "That'd be funny though. Those are totally legit. Trust me." 

Dan flipped through the packet again. 

"It's just. Why would anyone... I don't..." 

Felix shrugged. 

"Don't ask me, I'm just a humble delivery man." 

Dan stared at the last page and ran his finger over the line that his signature was supposed to go on. 

"They did tell me to tell you, though, that this is just a temporary document. They just wanted to send you something to look at, see how you felt about it. You can look it over with a lawyer and all. It's probably full of confusing legal shit." 

"Wow," Dan said quietly. He didn't really know how to react. He knew he was supposed to be thrilled, and he was sure he would be eventually but it was just a lot to take in. Besides, he wasn't sure he was really qualified for this anyway. 

"Found it, thanks Dan!" Phil said, popping his head through the doorway and then doing a double-take at the expression on Dan's face. "Woah, are you alright?" 

Dan nodded slowly. 

"Are you sure, because..." 

Felix stood and crossed the room, holding his hand out to Phil. 

"I'm Felix, Dan's friend from work," he said. 

"Phil," Phil said, shaking his hand but not tearing his eyes off of Dan. 

"Dan what's going on?" he asked. 

"I... they..." Dan wasn't sure what to say. Luckily Felix came to his rescue. 

"Dan's been offered his own radio show." 

Phil's eyes widened. Then he broke into a smile. 

"Dan, that's amazing!" he said. "Congratulations." 

Dan couldn't help but smile a bit at Phil's expression. 

"Thanks," he said. "It's just. A lot to process at the moment." 

What was the show even supposed to be about? Out of all of the people they could, why were they offering this job to him? And why the fuck did they send Felix to tell him instead of just explaining it themselves? 

He voiced these concerns to Felix. 

"Honestly I have no clue. Guess they thought it'd be more exciting for you like this? They said they would explain more tomorrow. That's about the extent of my knowledge." 

Dan shook his head. Seriously, sometimes he wondered what was going on in other peoples' brains. 

When Felix finally left, Phil sat down on the sofa next to Dan. 

"Your own radio show," he said. "Wow." 

Dan nodded, still somewhat in shock. 

"My best friend's going to be a celebrity," Phil joked, nudging him in the arm with his elbow. 

Dan breathed a laugh and leaned over, letting his head rest on Phil's shoulder. Dan wasn't really that much of a touchy person, but he'd spent enough time with Phil that they were comfortable being close like this. 

"There's just... So much that I don't know yet. And so much that I could fuck up," he said. "I... I don't even know if I really want this." 

Phil slid off his beanie and Dan watched his ears twitch. The less Phil wore hats around the house, the less tolerant he became of them when he had to wear them. 

"Well, did you enjoy doing that special a couple of weeks back?" Phil asked. 

Dan nodded. 

"Yeah, but. That was different. I was just reading a script. And it was mostly other people talking if you didn't notice. I just introduced people really." 

"You seemed pretty comfortable." 

"I guess." 

Dan fidgeted with his sleeve and stared at the spot on the floor between Phil's feet. 

"You know you don't have to do it if you don't want to," he said. Dan sat up and tucked his feet up on the couch. 

"I do want to," he admitted. "I'm just... nervous. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing yet. What if I put myself out there and everyone hates me?" 

Phil turned to him more fully. Dan glanced at his face. He was frowning. 

"No one's going to hate you," he said. "You're Dan." 

Dan wrapped his arms around his legs, tucking his nose into his knees. When he spoke his voice was muffled. 

"Thanks Phil." 

Phil leaned over and mussed Dan's hair before standing up. 

"How about we order in tonight? Celebratory pizza and American Horror Story?" 

Dan smiled. 

"That sounds perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And of course, after it takes me literally 3 weeks (or more? I can't remember??) to complete one chapter, I write an entire next one within two hours. 
> 
> LOOK AT HOW CONSISTENT I AM I MAKE SO MUCH SENSE.


End file.
